For some reason your apple a day doesn’t keep the doctor away.
Anonymous asked ieatbutter:
Apple pie without the pie? What have you done with your normal self? Can I have the recipe/method??!!
When you’re out of pie plates, you’ve been known to do something like this.
- 1 apple (a big mutha too)
- 1/4 tsp. nutmeg
- 1/2 tsp. ginger
- 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
- 1 pinch salt.
- 1 Tbsp. sugar
- 2. Tbsp flour
- Chopped walnuts (less than a handful)
- 1 Tbsp bourbon
- 1 Tbsp lime juice
First, because you’ve got a really good presence of mind today, you preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Yeah, now you’re cookin’ with gas. Then, you core that apple. Why? Because it deserves it. You shoulda heard what it was saying about you. You don’t core it all the way down, just an inch from the bottom. You scoop the core out with a small spoon. Why a spoon? Because it’ll hurt more, that’s why.
Then, you throw all your dry ingredients into a small bowl and mix ‘em up with a fork, willy-nilly. Then, you put in your 2 tablespoons of butter. Why 2 tablespoons? Because you ate the other 6, that’s why. You blend everything together with the back of a spoon, not worrying too much about even consistency—it’ll all melt and blend with the apple’s juices. Now, provided you didn’t eat them along with the 6 tablespoons of butter, you blend in the chopped walnuts.
Then, you stuff the cored apple. You’ll show it who’s boss. You pack that sucker really tight. You’ll teach that apple to say those things about your mother! You let a little filling spill over the top of the apple.
Then, you get out a small casserole dish—hang on, you need a good 30 minutes to find where the heck you put your casserole dish… ah, that’s right! Sock drawer.
You fill the casserole dish with 1” of water, the lime juice, and a good hefty splash of bourbon. Sometimes, when no one is looking you actually mix in a bit of sugar too. You mix it up, then toss that apple on its bottom into the dish. You spoon some of the liquid over the apple—that’s right, death by basting!
You bake the heck outta that baby for 35 minutes, stopping once midway through to spoon some more liquid over the apple. You know when it’s done when the fruit is soft and tender—aww—when poked with a fork.